Now I know my ABC's

Remember from yesterday my comment about finding a new liquor store? Today's story goes along with that comment, but first you'll need some highlights from last week's episode, so let's back up a bit...

Last Saturday night after Josh's show (Palmetto Statesmen Chorus) we both attended the afterglow. I was particularly excited to go to the afterglow, not necessarily to schmooze with chorus folks (strike one...), and not necessarily to hear some really good quartetting (strike two...). Being an experienced afterglow attendee, I expected a free wheeling, party type atmosphere with an array of libations to choose from. And it had been over a month since I had experienced my most favorite beverage in the wide world: THE MARGARITA. However, we arrived at the restaurant to find a Chinese buffet with beverage choices limited to water, tea, and Coke that in reality was probably something like "Tab" (Strike three!) So on the way home I begged Josh to pull off to a Bi-Lo (local large grocery chain) and I'd just pick up a bottle of pre-mixed margie and be on my way. He reluctantly obliged, even though we only had about ten minutes to spare, as in the County of Greenville it is illegal to sell any alcohol on Sundays, and we pulled in at 11:53 p.m. So I'm dashing around the store as they're making last calls from the register, and I can't find anything but aisles and aisles of wine and beer (see yesterday's post). Livid, I stomped back to the car and went margaritaless for another five days.

Flash forward to Thursday night. It's Independence Day Eve, we didn't have to work the next day, and we went on our margie hunt yet again. We tried two other grocery stores (not yet aware of the grocery store rule), two liquor stores, which were closed, and a gas station. Finally, not caring what anyone thought of our motives at this point, Josh just up and asked the gas station attendant, "Is there a place that we can find some liquor?" I about died. Obviously the persuit of anything harder than a spritzer in Greenville was the equivalent of looking for a "naughty lingerie" store. At that point we found out that it's illegal to sell hard alcohol after 7:00 p.m. on any night.

Okay...

So Friday we walked about a mile to the liquor store entitled "ABC Package Store" (?) in the middle of the afternoon thinking that the exercise would do us good (not thinking about having to carry the heavy glass bottles back home, wearing the brown paper bags like a scarlet letter) and finally, finally acquired the elements necessary for the almost perfect margarita (as I can't bring myself to spend $45 a bottle for the "choice" elements). All this drama got Josh to thinking about the county liquor laws, so today he Googled it. And this, my friends, is the punchline to this soliloquy:

1) Grocery stores and gas stations can only sell wine, beer, and non-alcoholic beverages (which is why they sell the mixers, but not the stuff to mix INTO the mixers).
2) Liquor stores must close by 7:00 p.m. and they CANNOT sell beer, wine, or non-alcoholic beverages (which is why they DO NOT sell the mixers to mix with the alcohol).
3) No Sunday sales.

and the best one...
4) All liquor stores must call themselves "ABC Package Store."



Like it's a secret code name. Like people are going to think you're just taking your mail to be properly boxed before sending. Like when people walk into "Brown Bag Video" in Peoria, passers by just think they're picking up "Daddy Daycare" or something. Anywho...

We probably won't have to visit a "Package Store" for a while, as it's not like we toss back shots with every meal, but at least next time we'll know the rules to the game.